Robinpaw (Robinclaw)

[padamay]

Name:
Robinpaw (Robinclaw)

Age:
14 moons

Gender:
Tom

Clan:
Thunderclan

Rank:
apprentice (Warrior in about two or three moons)

Description:
Robinpaw is a gray/black tom with an ginger/brown underbelly and his tail is tipped with white. He has light brown eyes. He is a very fast runner and great at climbing and jumping.


Personality:
Robinpaw is a fast learner. He has a very sharp tongue and is brave. He is not frightened easily and can fight as good as any warrior. He hardly listens to his mentor and does what he thinks will work best.

History:
Robinpaw was a very young kit when a warrior brought him from a cold snowy night into a warm milk smelling den. He does not know who his mother or father are. The first day he entered the apprentices den he had no idea what was going to come. He trained well and so far he had had a worth while life.

Roleplay Sample:Have one.


NEEDS a mentor!

[little]

You only have 2 sentences for history, you need more sentences.

[Swimfast]

I'm just saying, but you have a couple miss spelling here and there.

[Falconheart]

And that's not a cat. That's a skunk.

[Crowy]

Warrior's is more or less set in the UK, and skunks DO NOT LIVE IN THE UK. Therefore would not be known to cats

Yes that pic is a skunk, if I were you i'd include a picture of a cat rather than an animal that isn't a cat.

[little]

And the history doesn't really say that much about his training and other parts in his life.

[Charbarboo]

Thanks for filling in for me while I was gone guys

Padamay,

There are several miss spellings and grammar issues in there. Please re-read and spell check.

That is a picture of a skunk, please remove it.

There needs to be two more sentences in the history.

~Charbarboo

[padamay]

My cousin helped me spell check. She says hi!

[Fuzzybreath]

Your saying that he is better than the other apprentices, saying like he the calmest and fastest can't really be true. Because you should say that he is very calm and fast not that hes the best.

[Swimfast]

That is true, Fuzz.

It's kind of mean to the other apprentices.

And you can't just pop up and say he is to the very best. Just saying.

[Charbarboo]

Yes, I do agree that it isn't fair to the other apprentices if you say he's the most calm or the most kind. You could just say he's a very calm cat instead of saying he's much calmer and kinder.

[Crowy]

PLUS warriors is set in THE UK and SKUNKS do NOT live in the UK

I should know I LIVE HERE

[Alex the Steamed Rice Eater]

The coloring seems pretty unrealistic. Look at this site: fc07.deviantart.com/fs31/f/2008/195/4/5/455389affc2f40e076d64313d4015de6.jpg for a great guide to coloring. Also, adding flaws to his personality would help him be more realistic. With a pro, there is always a con.

Brokensoul has a point, also. Skunks do not live in the UK.

[padamay]

Ok, I'll think of another name.

[Alex the Steamed Rice Eater]

Thank you. One last thing:

He trained well and so far he had had a worth wild life.

I think you mean worth while.

[padamay]

Thanks Alex, I'll change it.

[Charbarboo]

Accepted.