Good-bye.

[Annikia]

"If you want to leave, then leave."
Thanks, River.
Well, I want to say good bye to Swimfast, who was always ready to help, no matter who asked for it.
And May, who was kind to me in the beginning.
And Crowy, who was patient with my first attempt at role-playing.
And Dia, bringing a bit of color back into my life. If only a little.
And WildDreamer, who always found time to Role-Play with me.

Rivs said "It shows that members have /lives/ and can't post 24/7."

Well that's it then, isn't it? Members have lives. Some can be born into a cruel, abusive family, like me. Those of us don't see it as lives. We see it as torture. Which is why I am ending my suffering.

One more more week, I'm giving myself.
Goodbye.

[padamay]

Annika\Willow if you read this, WildDreamer and May are the same user; ME!
I have somethings in common with you Willow, My familes falling apart cause of my 16 yearold brother name Roman. He is a jerk, bully, and otherthings...
Anyway my point is, my brother had threated to kill my mom and dad, and had the cops called on him a bunch....
Willow, the way u wrote ur letter gives me the vib that unarengoing to kill ur self; PLEASE don't!
As my mom would say 'you have a whole life ahead of you...'
Willow, if you leave, I and Little and Fuzzy will leave. She would agree with me.
~Wuv U!

[Annikia]

Oh, crap. Sorry for that...

My life is pretty bad right now. My aunt just died. My friend has ovarian(?) cancer.
My brother is leaving. My mom is horrid.
My dad is isolated.
My uncle committed suicide.
My other uncles life is falling apart.
I'm really depressed right now.
I really just want it all to go away.
I don't have a life. Not one I want to live, at least.
I get bullied, and beaten up. Do the teachers care? No.
I wish I could go with my brother. He's moving out.
Say's he can't take it anymore.
I don't know what to say to you.
I can't promise you that I won't take my life.
I just can't.

Love you too, May.

[~Spring~]

Annikia, I can't really say that I know you too well. But I can tell you that the world would lose an amazing person if you took your own life. I don't know if these words will be of any help, but I hope things get much better for you, you deserve to be happier than this as I truly believe you are a great person. Your role-playing skills have come so far in a short amount of time, and you have really bonded well with other members on the site, which is more than I can say for myself. It took me forever to get the hang of role-playing, and I don't log on nearly as often as I used to.

I sincerely hope that you start to feel better.

~Spring

[strawberry kiss]

I personally wouldn't want you to leave, but if that is what you wish to do. I'm fine with it. But I just ahve some things to say.

Firstly. Thanks

Thanks for joining and sticking around with us even though we were inactive.

Second; Live Life

Family problems can scar anyone's life. It's the same with me. But you've got to live life for those around you who care. Alright?

Finally. Just I'm glad to have known you and been able to become friends with you.

[Riverflame]

Annikia, I'm sorry you took my words to heart, but seriously, the Cbox isn't the place to discuss inactivity!
My life isn't all that great either. My mom died when I was seven. My dad is lazy as heck and makes me do every single thing that he doesn't feel like doing. My brother's a drunk and the source of nightly fights.
I'm not even going to continue, 'cause I don't like telling my life story.

So if you're leaving, I'm sorry and I know TFL will miss you. But I know what it's like to wish you were born into a different family and such. That particular night I was having a lot of family issues, and I wasn't in the best of moods.

[Crowy]

alright, you may not think this'll help, but it's the best I can do right now. I'm tired and i'm grumpy and life's been a bit of a cow to me lately.

Four months back, during the height of my GCSE exams, one of my relatives was found dead at his home; he'd hanged himself. I never knew him, but knowing he took his life was a hard blow on me. I felt I couldn't study properly and I wanted time off school to cope.

Do you know what my french teacher told me? You've got to let these things go. If you hold onto them and they hurt you, it's just going to make yourself worse. You can't look on the past without feeling bad sometimes - but holding onto it and thinking about it isn't helping either.

Your brother. Now, my little brother isn't like that, but, he's had people like that bully him. Seeing him upset tears me up, and what tears me up more is when he shouts "You never treat me like a brother!" when I tell him to shut up and leave me alone because I'm in a bad mood or I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. That really hurts me when he thinks I don't treat him like a brother or I hate him, when I love him to bits and he's my little brother - and I would do anything to protect him.

When I left school, I was heartbroken because I knew I would never see the guy I loved again. It still tears me up even now - I loved him and he didn't even know it - or, if he did, he ignored it. Through the two years in which I liked him, I asked him out once - got rejected but he said to me "Not yet." and that made me happy, if only for a few months. Then, he got not one girlfriend, but two, in the space of those years. Call me jealous if you want, but he barely knew these girls and he'd known me for the best part of five years. I didn't even want to talk to him when he went out with those girls - I couldn't even look at him without feeling upset and unwanted and thrown away like an old rag. That hurt me the most.

But, not two days ago did I get my GCSE results. 1 A*, 4 As, 3 Bs and 4 Cs, and that's put a lift in my life. I've made new friends on websites and found that I don't need to hold onto the past - hold onto the good things that have happened to me - to feel happy and feel content with myself. Sure, I still get my dad shouting at me and my brother saying I hate him and I never see the person I love, but, that's behind me.

I felt like killing myself once upon a time - I was depressed - bullying was getting on to of me, I had a heart condition, my GCSEs were so stressful and I felt like everyone was being my friend because they felt sorry for me. And one person said to me "Do you really think he'll say yes?". That person was supposed to be my friend, and that upset me and rocked me to the core. I felt like, if he didn't say yes, I'd have nothing to live for. I'd have no one who knew I loved them (that wasn't my family) unconditionally and I would do anything for him - even throw myself in front of a truck if it was heading towards him.

You've just got to keep your chin up and not let these things get you down. Don't leave. I found role playing was an escape - I could vent my anger and frustration into one of my characters or into my writing... i'm sorry if you feel like I've neglected the site - in all honesty, this is how most of the sites i own go - straight down into the black hole that is dead proboards boards =/

[padamay]

My families falling apart all because of my older brother who is freaken 16!
This has been going on too long, from the time we adpoted him at 7 to the persent of him being 16. In the last couple weeks he has had the cops called like 10 times! The most recent was this past friday; (Did you know theres a drug to make you angier and you have to order it from china?) My mom found this drug in his room and took it out of his room, he had all pissed at my mom and went after her. She had to lock herself in her computer room, and she called '911'. She picked me up from a friends house and told me I had to got to this friend of hers house because she didn't know what would happen!
My parents are having a hard time because the police wont do a thing, because my brother hasn't made an atempt to hurt my parents yet.

[Crowy]

so what if he's 16? I'm 16, i don't do crap like that. I'm not what adults would consider a 'normal' teenager. I don't get stoned out of my face, I don't do drugs, I don't skip school. Sure, I curse, but that's because I get annoyed easily.

If you're scared, call the social services or something - he's adopted - most adopted kids are troubled. My mum was adopted - her mother had to give her away hours after she was born and Mum was told that when she was 6. when she was 6. I have a cousin who is adopted - her parents were alcoholics and she was forcibly taken away and because of her mother drinking whilst she was pregnant, my dear cousin is what a normal kid would call 'special'

What happened to him before you adopted him probably was troubling - you and your family opened your heart to him andhe betrayed you - I'd feel annoyed in your situation. Social Services or whatever you have in the US should have checked him - call them and tell them what he's doing and maybe get them to convince someone that your brother needs to go somewhere where he won't hurt himself or others - yes, I'm suggesting a mental hospital.

Also, how in the GOD DAMN hell did he manage to get these drugs? First, what are they called? Secondly, how the hell did he get it past customs, and lastly, how the hell did he get money for it - I get no money - I got no job and I get no allowance/pocket money because i apparently don't do enough around the house.

Please don't think you're the only person suffering in the world - I wanted to run away yesterday because I was so angry at my dad for saying "I want her permanently out of my sight!". Mum thought I was going to run away and she told him. She told him "I bet she's packing her bags and ready to walk out the door and never come back.". And I tell you what, I was as freaking close as hell to just getting up and leaving but I stayed for my little brother and my mum and my guinea pigs because I do give a rats arse about them.

Don't kill yourself, don't drive yourself over the edge - your brother just needs counselling or some crap that'll fix that head of his.

[Swimfast]

Okay, here's what I think: As long as you're alive, life is never that bad.
You should feel blessed and be happy that you you're alive, because your life is the most valuable thing that you have.
I understand that sometimes stuff can happen, and you may feel like everything has been turned inside out. But like I said, you're alive, so be happy and enjoy it.
In my opinion if you think about how bad things are, then it makes it worse. Just try and take your mind of it, enjoy yourself, love your life as much as you possible can while you still have it.
If you feel like there's nothing left for you, well don't even think that way in the first place. Because there is still plenty of opportunities out there for you. You just need the will to search for them, but they are there.
If you're sitting in the dark then don't leave yourself there, find the will to go turn on the light, because it won't turn itself on. And if a fuse blows and you need some help, well then call someone to come fix it.
Do you feel like you're sitting in the dark right now? Well then get up, and go turn on the light. The light will always be there, although it might not turn on every time you want it to.
And if a fuse blows and sparks fly all over, then call for help. What I mean by that is, if you need some help then ask your friends.
Because whether you can see them or not, there are always people out there who care. Always, there is never a single point in time when there is no one who cares about you.
There's God, and He has given you one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive, and that is your life.
Don't throw it away, love it, value it, treasure it. And if it springs a leak, well then go find someone to patch it up. There's always someone who knows how to fix it. And sometimes things don't work out on the first try, and if they don't, well then keep trying.
In your case, you have a lot of people who care about. Look at this thread, if we seriously didn't care, do you think we would post in it?
Although we can't be with you, we're still here. And school and sports take up quite a lot of time for me, but I'll always be here, as long at the site is. And I'll always support you, so if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, I'm here.
One of my main points in this is: Don't think you're alone, because you for sure, are not.
Don't sit there in the dark and see what happens, just go turn on the light, seriously.
And value your life, please please please. I love my life, even when something bad sometimes happens, I still love my life with all of my heart and my soul.
And it makes me sad to know that some people don't treasure themselves and their life the way I treasure myself and my life.
I beg of you, to really consider what I'm saying. Please.
If you really try, then you can pull yourself through this.

[padamay]

Oh guess what! My brother is in a Jvuy. He threatened to kill my dad over the past weekend. The air around my family is tense. I'm the one you holds my mom together, because she has just lost a child of hers. I'm scared, I just needed to get this out... My parents saw him at the court today, and he had a smirk on his face! There keeping him there until next friday, then... his life will be desided. I prayed fro him last night, but I can see that it didn't help at all.
don't know what to do, my moms so stressed and it doesn't help that I get annoyed by her when I just woke up for school.